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legendaryvermin · 3 months ago

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So my home ttrpg group is between longform games right now, and I have been planning to bring a bunch of games to them this weekend as options for what we might play next. However, I have been trying to figure out how to talk about the games in a way that doesn't rely as much on me explaining the vibes to them.

I know that people have a bunch of qualitative categories for how they explain games, but I find the idea of saying things like Dark Fantasy OSR, or Lesbian Goofball PBTA less helpful when talking about how games actually play, especially when two games in the same category are like, wildly different in the way they use their frameworks.

So I invented a 6 axis, 1 to 5 star rating scale for TTRPGs that you are free to borrow when talking to groups, or whatever.

TTRPG 5 Star Rating Matrix

Width

What is the scope of this game? Is it narrowly about one thing or does it encompass many types of play? (Credit to friend of the blog @ostermad-blog for this one, they came up with it from my draft)

Weight

How much cognitive load does the player need to bear? Do rules often need to be referenced verbatim? Can those rules fit on a handout?

Wargame

Is the player expected to apply tactical acumen? Is movement tracked tightly or loosely? Does a bad build punish a player?

Writers Room

How much are players expected to make narrative choices and drive the story without the rules scaffolding them? Does this game fall apart without excellent improvisational storytellers?

(Prep)Work

Does this game require a lot of pre-planning by the facilitator? Are there intricate systems to attend to outside of table play? Can I put in the same amount of time as other players and still have everyone leave happy?

Whimsy

Expected tone of the game. Does this game have difficult thematic elements baked in? Is the core subject or role in the game high or low risk?

Here are some games I know well and how I calibrated them:

I have breakdowns of what each star rating means below the cut if you're curious. Happy Gaming!

Width

⭐ - As written, the game has basically one mode of play, or one thematic core that it meditates on. May have phases, but textural difference is minimal.

⭐⭐ - As written, there are at least two modes of play, but the scope of that play is highly thematically focused or highly dependent on using the game’s own lore. Might have only one kind of character (e.g. Mech Pilot) that it supports. Has limited tools outside of the primary mode of play.

⭐⭐⭐ - Has a variety of modes of play, but may be rigid in their execution. Might encompass multiple kinds of characters (e.g. Doctor, Lawyer, fighter) or character options. The narratives that this game tells within its setting are narrowed, a three word description tells you what kind of stories it can tell with consistency.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Loose framework, but with some kind of thematic grounding. Describing the framework in 3 words doesn’t tell you the kind of stories that the game tells (e.g. Dark Fantasy, Star Wars Romp).

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- As written, this game is designed in such a way that it doesn’t put specific limits on what sorts of stories that it is meant to tell. It might ask players to define abilities or stats for themselves. The Facilitator is going to pitch a thematic grounding on top of the rules set.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Dialect, Honey Heist Five Star Examples: Fate Core, Savage Worlds, GURPS

Weight

⭐ - It is reasonable for a player to be able to recite the rules from memory. The game may be prompt based, or driven by a flow of rules that are read aloud as played.

⭐⭐ - Players can hold most of the most important information about the game in their heads, with a page or less of rules reference needed to play smoothly. This reference could all fit neatly on the character sheet if one is present.

⭐⭐⭐ - Everything a player needs to know about the game is visible on less than 3 sheets of reference. Players are more or less expected to know exactly how their own abilities work in precise detail, and are unlikely to make a mistake in executing them.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Players make extensive use of multiple reference sheets to keep rules moving smoothly. No external tools are needed, but players memorizing the details of all of their abilities is taxing.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- Players and facilitators will prefer to make extensive use of external tools or reference to keep play moving smoothly. Expecting a player to have the exact details of their abilities memorized is not reasonable.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Stewpot, Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands Five Star Examples: Dungeons and Dragons 3-5e, Lancer, Edge of the Empire

Wargame

⭐ - As written, this game does not treat combat as mechanically different from any other aspect of play, or does not include narrative violence at all.

⭐⭐ - While players may engage in combat, it is minimally different from regular play. There may be tools or abilities for players to use to conduct a fight, but the texture of those fights is thematic, not mechanical. Narrative and consequence drive the action, not hit points.

⭐⭐⭐ - As written, combat has its own set of rules. This game may have some elements of buildcrafting, but either it is difficult to build something that doesn’t work, or the player may meaningfully invest in other modes of play and still find a commensurate level of satisfaction. If combat occurs, spacing is kept in mind, but is tracked in relative terms (range bands) or highly simplified (zone based combat).

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This game has buildcrafting that is somewhat mandatory if players wish to survive a fight, but there is still a meaningful choice in choosing a non-combat role. It may use a grid or a spacing system to help players visualize the combat. Fights are driven by mechanics, not by narrative.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- To enjoy this game, players must spend time buildcrafting. If a player’s build is suboptimal, there may be significant parts of the intended experience that will either feel tedious, or that the player will not have meaningful access to. This game is played on a grid.

One Star Examples: Wanderhome, Dialect, Belonging Outside Belonging Five Star Examples: Lancer, Dungeons and Dragons 3-5e, Valor

Writers Room

⭐ - Players in this game are not expected to provide much in the way of narrative substance. Story is something that is driven by external input or tools, and players are there to imagine and react. The player need not separate the self from the character they play in any meaningful way.

⭐⭐ - The mechanics of this game drive most of the narrative, or else the narrative is set for the players by an external source or player. Players are encouraged to play optimally rather than dramatically, but do have room for expressing the identity of their character within the game’s mechanical frameworks.

⭐⭐⭐ - While the game does provide strong scaffolding to tell a story, the players present are expected to drive the story within those frameworks. The game’s systems create and resolve conflict on their own, but works best when the players are willing to choose the dramatically interesting option even if it mechanically non-optimal.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - The game provides some mechanical tools that create and resolve drama, but there is a significant expectation that the players are buying into and driving the game’s thematic concepts. Players are the ones deciding what the scenes should be and when to end them, but mechanics still help determine outcomes.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- The players are expected to drive the narrative at all times. Tools for deciding what scenes to do and when to end them are limited, optional, or vague. There is no meaningful scaffolding that creates conflict or resolution, it is incumbent on those present to manifest those things.

One Star Examples: Alice is Missing, Ribbon Drive, For the Queen Five Star Examples: Wanderhome, Systemless RP

(Prep)Work

⭐ - Facilitators are not expected to do work outside the time at the table. All rules can be read while the game is played. No memorization is needed.

⭐⭐ - This game expects the facilitator to have read the rules in advance, but the rules are so few that they can be run from a single reference sheet. At times, the facilitator must think about and potentially advance and adjust the narrative of the game behind the scenes. Prep is qualitative; answering questions about where the narrative is going to go, who will be there etc. The game can be run smoothly predominantly as improv.

⭐⭐⭐ - This game expects the facilitator to not only know the rules, but to imagine scenarios where the group must play. However, the scope of the scenario design is limited and qualitative. It takes a bit of pondering and perhaps a sketch and a few words of notes. Alternatively, the facilitator must design simple foes or track a simple background system. The work is trivial, and can be done with a bit of time before session.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - The facilitator of this game is expected to have run systems between games, or created usable maps or scenarios. Generally, games at this level have some reduced wargaming component. The facilitator might need to engage in enemy design, but the work is limited or imminently reusable. The work is non-trivial, and failing to do it will somewhat impact the quality of play.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- The facilitator of this game puts in significant time between sessions engaging in game design activities. They are expected to plan narratives, write NPCs, draw maps, run significant background systems, and design enemies and combat encounters. The work is significant outside of play, and failing to do it beforehand will result in a worse table experience.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Alley-Oop, Lasers and Feelings Five Star Examples: Lancer, D&D 3-5e, Stars Without Number, Edge of the Empire

Whimsy

⭐ - This game’s thematic core is considered dark, taboo, or difficult, and separating the game’s mechanical features from this subject matter is next to impossible. Games with horror elements almost certainly fit within this category. These games encourage extensive pre-play safety talks.

⭐⭐ - This game is designed to look at dark subject matter, but doesn’t expect the player to spend all of their time there. Players explore difficult topics, but may get to choose what topics to explore, or when to explore them. Games with political messaging/commentary tend to fit this category. These games encourage pre-play safety talks.

⭐⭐⭐ - This game may have dark aesthetics, but doesn’t enforce them mechanically. Alternatively, there are mechanics that address difficult topics in broad strokes, but players are given leeway in the rules with how any difficult topics are approached. These games may encourage safety talks.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This game may have the option to explore dark topics, but none of the mechanics are tied to such topics. This game may have violence in its aesthetics, but players may choose to adjust the aesthetics at the table to suit their comfort. These games tend not to talk about safety in their text.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- This game is designed to focus on thematic material that is considered to be relatively safe. The game is unlikely to tread into violence or trauma without effort.

One Star Examples: Trophy Dark, Dungeon Bitches, Vampire the Masquerade Five Star Examples: Honey Heist, Princess World, Beach Episode

The system here isn't about what's good or bad, to be clear. I think there are good and bad games at every level of these categories, but when I think about what my game group is good at and comfy with, I don't think we go in for things at like the 5 end of the Writers Room scale. It's too much work, and most of them aren't pro improvisers.

Similarly, if we play another game that is a 4 or 5 on the PrepWork category, I don't have time to run it these days. So this helps me make practical choices about our next game.

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #game design #dnd #ttrpgs #ttrpg design #d&d #lancer rpg #steal this #safety tools #five star ttrpg matrix

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reiderwriter · 1 year ago

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😝 brain rot from my character ai scenario… the team goes out to a bar to celebrate and you wear a tiny little dress (just to rile him up obvi) but you also end up attracting a lot of male attentionand he gets SO jealous and protective of you he’s like sitting off to the side just watching you flirt with everyone and the team is like “he looks like hes gonna explode wtf” and then the SMUT HES ALL “they can’t have you, you’re all mine” “you really like all the attention huh? i’ll give you what you wanted” OMG it’s making me crazy i hope i described it good enough 🥰🥰

A/N: Is it really a reiderwriter smut if I don't have to clarify that 'I got carried away' at some point in the authors note? No, it is not. Thank you for the request. My brain is now equally rotted, oops.

Warnings: complaints, dirty talk, semi public sexual activity, partial voyeurism, fingering, hard/rough sex.

You weren't even dating.

Which made the situation even more frustrating for Spencer, and even more exciting for you.

You'd always flirted with the man a lot, had been told multiple times to knock it off even after getting a little too close for comfort on a case.

But you couldn't really blame yourself on that one. You'd had to do a quick takedown at a dive bar, and you'd been tasked with pretending to be a touchy couple at the bar to block the back entrance at the staff entrance.

You'd draped yourself all over him, allowing yourself to get closer than you'd ever been before.

If you'd just happened to let your hands fall down to his crotch, it was pure coincidence. So was giving his obviously erect length a few strokes through his jeans as he sat staring at you like you were his last meal and he was back in prison.

Emily had to pull you aside after that one personally.

You knew she was protective of Spencer, seeing him as a little brother, but it seemed like she was more protective of you at that moment.

“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” She'd asked, waiting carefully for your answer before she said anything more.

Two could play at that game. “What is this concerning?”

“With Spencer.”

“I'm not sure what you mean, Emily.”

“Yes, you do. Listen, I don't care what you get up to in your personal life, but Spencer has a way of making others feel very… seen. He can get protective and pushy. And I just want to know you're ready for that, and you're not going to let it affect your work.”

“Is Spencer having the same talk?”

She laughed at that.

“Spencer? No. I already know it's going to affect his work, because it has since you joined our team. He still gets his job done, but I know where his priorities would lie if there were an emergency.”

You'd shivered at that and excused yourself.

If he was that obsessed with you, why had he not told you? Stepped over that line from friends to more than that?

You needed to force the issue, and you had the perfect opportunity when Penelope invited you out for drinks.

“Y/N! Don't go, it's Friday night, we-” she said gesturing wildly to the team gathered around you, “are going to a bar. No, you can't rain check either.”

“Can I at least get changed first?”

“You need to get changed. We're going to a nice bar, Y/N.” Running off again to grab the rest of your team members and force their attendance, you grinned after Penelope.

It was time to see exactly how focused on you Spencer Reid was.

And how willing he was to let you slip through his fingers.

An hour later, you were stepping out of your taxi, pulling your skirt down as you did. The short black dress had a terrible habit of pulling up your thighs to flash your underwear at anyone in a 10 foot radius. Usually, that bothered you, but tonight, you planned on using it to your advantage.

After all, you'd left out the underwear tonight for a reason.

Pulling your jacket around you tighter, you pushed the door to the bar open and scanned the room for your team members.

“Y/N, over here!” Tara called you over, nursing a beer. Luke sat next to her, Penelope on his other side, and Matt on hers and completing the group was Spencer Reid.

“Where are JJ and Emily?” You asked, doing your very best to ignore Spencer as you sat down next to him, practically falling into his warmth. You sat so close to him.

“At the bar. Emily is convinced she can flirt her way to a free drink, and JJ is convinced she cannot. The girl she's working on now has to be 22 at most, so it could honestly go either way.” Penelope answered, and you felt Spencer shift slightly beside you.

“Speak of the devil,” Luke said as the two women approached.

“Well? What's the result?” You grinned up at them, letting your head fall back against Spencer’s shoulder as you gently rested your hand on his thigh. He sat silently for a minute, not moving and just taking in the conversation.

“I've still got it.” Emily grinned triumphantly.

“Maybe I should give it a try. There are a few hot male bartenders tonight. Who knows, I might score more than just a drink.”

Spencer choked on the drink he was sipping as you spoke quickly, a few knowing looks passing between every other person at the table. You'd have to be blind to miss it. Or Spencer.

“Spencer, are you okay? You should be careful, I wouldn't want you to choke. That's how I want to end my night, but it's not for everyone.” That one earned you a few snickers from the others and a glare from the man himself.

“I'm fine, thank you, Y/N.” He smiled down at you and gave your knee a friendly tap that turned slightly less friendly as he pushed it further up your leg.

The others had since averted their attentions, moving their conversation onto other things, but you and Spencer were still stuck in each other's orbits.

Your heart beat faster until you were sure it could be seen, raw and fit to burst out of your chest. His fingertips brushed your hem. He was seconds away from realising that you were going to get the attention you wanted that night.

Slipping just an inch up the hem, he twitched almost imperceptibly as he searched for your panty line, brows knitting when he couldn't find it.

“What's wrong, Spencer? Searching for something that isn't there?” You enjoyed watching his frown deepen as he registered your words, but you enjoyed it even more when you gently pushed his hand away as you stood.

“Well, I need a drink. Let's hope I can recreate your success, Emily.” You said, finally pushing off your jacket. The dress may have been short, but it was also low cut, burning the candle at both ends as your breasts threatened to spill over with any particularly deep breath.

“Sweet lord in heaven! You didn't come to play tonight.” Penelope exclaimed, practically applauding your body as you twirled for her and showed off the form fitting dress, giggling all the way.

“You said it was a nice bar, Penelope. I'm hoping there are also some very nice men here, too.” With a wink, you turned on your heel and strode to the bar, making sure your hips swung seductively with every step.

You couldn't immediately give in and turn to see if he was watching you when you got to the bar, though, not willing to give him the satisfaction. You were doing it all for him, but you still didn't want him to know that.

It didn't take long for men to swarm you. They came one at a time, and you entertained them each as you waited for your unnecessarily complex cocktail order to be prepared.

In the 7 minutes you'd been away from the table, you'd been approached by three separate men. They all tried lines on you, gave you their numbers and tried their best to woo you, but with Spencer’s eyes burning across your body as you leaned against the bar, you really couldn't have cared less.

Still, you leaned in, giggled in the appropriate places, and took the numbers, knowing they'd never be called.

When your cocktail was finally ready, and the last one offered to fund it for you You finally felt a hand at your back.

“That won't be necessary, thank you.” Spencer ended the conversation, handing his own card over to the bartender as he kept his hand on your back, his body crowding yours.

The man walked away in defeat, and you turned on him, sipping your drink as you refused to move away.

“Now why ruin all my fun, Spencer?”

“You're really enjoying all this attention, huh?” He said, pushing your hair behind your ear as he leaned closer to you, his next word a whisper against your skin.

“I can see your pussy from all the way back there,” he said, tugging down your skirt slightly. You weren't surprised though simply taking another sip and maintaining eye contact.

“I know.” His hand, having slipped up to your waist, tightened as his gaze dropped to your lips.

“You want everyone to see your dripping cunt? Want to let all the men here take a turn trying to catch your attention so they can slip in?” His voice was low, practically a growl as he licked his lips.

“No. I wanted to see how long it'd take you to come over and do it. By my count, that was eight minutes, correct?”

“Good girl. Just remember that you're mine. I'm not letting anyone else have you.” Giving your face a gentle stroke, he let it trail down your body, subtly cupping and squeezing your chest on the way down.

“All of a sudden, I feel very tired, Spencer. Take me home.” He wasted no time, grabbing your hand and gathering you up, your jacket and bag collected from the desk as he gave minimal answers to the others as you departed. To their credit, they asked minimal questions.

The cold air hit you hard as you pushed the doors open again, but Spencer was unperturbed, pulling you over to his car silently, a strong hand on your shoulder helping you into the passenger's seat.

You dare not talk the entire drive to his apartment, so sure that any word from you would have him turning immediately to deposit you right back at the bar.

He didn't, though, but he also didn't look at you or touch you. You sat squirming at the heavy atmosphere, suddenly desperate to know exactly what thoughts were trapped inside Spencer’s impressive brain.

“We're here.” He announced, pulling up quickly and cutting the engine, climbing out in a hurry.

You fumbled with your own seat belt as he pulled your door open, catching you up in his arms as he closed the door behind you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, letting him carry you up the stairs to his apartment.

His lips didn't meet yours until the door was firmly closed and locked behind you, and even then, he didn't immediately dive in. He out you down, and a touch of disappointment flooded your body as he completely entangled himself from you.

It dissipated completely when his hand wrapped around your throat.

“Let me be clear, Y/N. You are mine. If you want attention, I will give it to you. If you want to choke on something, I'm more than happy to provide it. If you want to dress like a little whore, go ahead, but don't forget who your sweet little cunt belongs to.” His fingers tightened with each word as you gasped for air, back resting on the nearest wall as his body pressed up along your own.

“Do you understand?” He asked, and you nodded repeatedly, fast and desperate.

“Good. Now, ass up on the bed. I'll meet you there.” You practically sprinted to the room in question, slinking up onto the bed. He said ass up, but you hesitated slightly as he quietly shut the bedroom door behind you, just long enough to earn a slap on your ass as he finally returned to your side.

“You have to listen, Y/N. You wanted this, so you have to listen nicely.”

“I'm sorry, Spencer, it won't happen aga-” He stole the end of your sentence as he slipped his fingers into you, gently working the two longest ones up into a frenzy as he finger fucked you.

“Sorry, what was that? I don't think I quite caught your words.” You could only moan in reply as you buried your head in his pillows, ass pressing back into his fingers to help him get deeper.

“So needy. Look at this little black dress. You knew this was going to happen, right?” A third finger slipped inside you, and you screamed out in pleasure as he continued using you.

“Burying your head isn't going to work, Y/N. Your cunt is answering for you.”

You heard the rattle of his belt unbuckling as his fingers finally slipped out, the emptiness only a relief for a second before his cock was hitting deep inside of you.

Thoughts escaped you as you finally got what you'd been begging for for weeks. His every frustration was pounded into you as he tugged at your hair, pulling your torso up so he could hit even deeper.

Pulling back your head with a hand on your throat he laid a barrage of kisses across your upper back and shoulders, making sure to bite and suck and nip as his spare hand toyed with your nipples, pinching and pulling.

In a second, you reached your climax, not having the breath left in you to let him know before you tightened on his shaft and let your body fall limp under his hands.

“I'm going to mop up our cum with this dress, Y/N, and then I'm going to make you put it back on.” With a final grunt, he pulled out, jerking his cock through his release as he shot his load right over your pussy lips.

He collapsed on top of you, and you finally gave up your last bit of strength beneath him, enjoying the pressure of his weight pushing down on you again.

“Thank god that worked,” you gasped, catching your breath. You smiled as he flipped you over and pulled the dress off your head, true to his word.

“What worked, Y/N?”

“This. You don't know the lengths I'd have gone to to get you yo finally fuck me if this hadn't worked.”

“But suddenly, I'm curious, and I have all the time in the world.” You laughed lightly but snuggled into his chest again, meaning to sleep.

“Unless you want to get dressed again now…?”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction

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multifandumbmeg · 3 months ago

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Ok. Came across my first pro Five and Lila post so FiveLila shippers let's talk. If you ship Five and Lila, that's totally fine! Both CHARACTERS are legal adults.

What they did on the show was disgusting.

And yes, it was also poor writing. You should be angry too. Let's discuss.

Aidan Gallagher is BARELY an adult. He was, what, at most 19 during filming? Ritu Arya is 35. She is a grown woman. They met filming season 2. Late 2019. Aidan Gallagher was freshly 16 years old. She has watched him grow up from his early teens to now, bareeeely a legal adult. For that reason, they CLEARLY do not have any physical/sexual/romantic chemistry, because Ritu Arya isn't a groomer creep. She looks visibly disgusted all while acting her ass off. She plays the lines well but the kissing was so unbelievably uncomfortable to watch and I KNOW it was because SHE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE DOING IT. She remembers this BOY as like a five foot two kid in the prep school uniform, right? It's gross for the same reason dating your teacher even after you've graduated is very gross and makes everyone give you the side-eye. Both Ritu and David (Lila and Diego) have made it clear they were very against this choice. It is obvious this was entirely pushed by Steve Blackman.

Now before you get pissy and scroll away, before I explain why it is in this case bad writing, let me also remind you:

It is fine to like this ship conceptually. It is fine to write fanfiction. There is nothing wrong with that. I totally get shipping their characters based on their personalities and life experiences. BUT

What they did with this season with the canon was simply an awful mess. Morally, it was just plain wrong. The age gap alone made it inappropriate. But it was also bad. Writing. As many have pointed out, it was horrifically out of character for Five. Lila's character was written wildly inconsistently this season. Neither of them would have done that to Diego. Five would simply never have made a move. No matter how badly he wanted to, I don't believe he would have even if she made the move. Not for decades. At least. Add to this the entire experience was completely unneccessary and made no sense to begin with- Lila's suggestion that they go back and save original Ben would mean she never met the Brellies and thus never met Diego, still believed her evil mother, and her children didn't exist. Lila os brash, but generally not stupid, but even if she overlooked that fact are you telling me Five, Mr. Know-it-all who LIVES to be the smartest person in the room and always has, wouldn't have even said something then?? Before they left?! NO. He would NEVER have agreed to go on that mission before even considering the consequences. It was essentially an entire episode of character assasination for both of them. If you like either Lila OR Five at all, you should HATE this arc. Five not considering fallout, falling for his brother's wife despite most of the fandom believing he was aroace the whole time, choosing to betray his brother by physically having an affair with said wife, giving up on solving the apocalypse or finding his family again (his whole mission for the entire series, his entire character), finding a way out and then HIDING IT FOR HALF A YEAR FOR SELFISH REASONS?!?! Five... Hargreeves?? Are we talking about the same person??? Inconsistency is poor writing, plain and simple. Lila, for her part, was traumatized by her mother and spent all of season three grappling with her pregnancy. She had the opportunity, and made discussions with Diego about abortion. She ultimately CHOSE to have a child and ASKED to have a family WITH him. So to have her and Diego both spend this season only saying negative things about their family and act like they regret having the kids they VERY THOUGHTFULLY CHOSE TO HAVE is just plain shitty. They could have done a thoughtful plotline about how hard parenting is when you're breaking generational cycles, but instead they absolutely abandoned it and just had them cause more. Lila runs off to do something that logically will erase her children immediately and then when she finds out Five figured out the way back she mentions Diego and her kids and I found myself yelling at the screen-

"Oh, you care about your kids now?? Since when?!" Diego and Lila literally dump their kids off with a relative in the start of episode 2 and only even mention them again to complain after that. Never once do either of them say one nice thing about their children. Never do they say they love their children. We don't see any shots in the montage of Five and Lila of Lila being UNDERSTANDABLY DEVASTATED and being comforted by Five. It's not only completely inconsistent, it's not just that it makes all the parties involved look shittier for it, it's that they didn't even do it well.

What I'm saying is-

It shouldn't have happened in the final shortened season of this tv show. There was no way they could make that happen and be in any way a fulfilling ending for any of those characters, and for that reason EVERYONE should be pissed about it.

You could write a fic where Diego and Lila's marriage slowly breaks down (or hell maybe they never even got married) but it happens amicably and they don't fucking hate their children in the process and Five doesn't have an affair with Lila, but is there in the aftermath instead. You can write thoughtful, well-executed 200,000 fics drawing out the family drama of this slow burn and Diego and Five coming to terms. Or you could write a trashy smut fic where they all cheat on each other and are assholes and nothing makes sense, basically just like the show did. That's great! Both are totally fine and make absolute sense and are gratifying under the right circumstances to the right audience. Because that's fanfiction, and you've got time.

This was the end of a show we all fucking loved. This was a horrible ending that left everyone dead and unhappy at the moment of their death. A show that was supposed to be about overcoming familial dysfunction, not drowning in it.

So yes, we're angry about Five and Lila. Not because your ship is bad or wrong. Because it should not have happened under these circumstances.

#tua season 4 #tua s4 #tua spoilers #tua #the umbrella academy #tua five #five hargreeves #lila pitts #diego hargreeves #tua diego #fivelila

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fletchingbrilliant · 3 months ago

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🌙some wildly cheap commissions!🌙

🙃 for some even wilder reasons 🙃

hey y'all. long post thingie but it's got cute pictures so please check it out

TRANSCRIPT OF POST

hey frens got something kinda somber to talk about. most of you are very aware of the existence of my beautiful fiance and co-creator of basically everything i do. zae and i are getting handfasted (marriage for pagans) in october, and have been living together for about 10 years. in 2021, zae got really fucking sick, and after a few false starts, was diagnosed with a rare for of vasculitis called granulomatosis with polyangiitis, GPA for short. it’s an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in blood vessels and other tissues, ultimately stopping blood from getting to the parts of the body that need it, affecting many areas, but primarily the respiratory system. while the cause isn’t known, it usually presents in people in their 50’s or 60’s, but complications from a third bout of covid-19 appears to have made it emerge way earlier for our boy. at least, that’s what we think. his case is extremely aggressive, advancing faster than anyone could have expected. in zae’s case, it actually attacked his kidneys first, and then went after his lungs, causing both to threaten shutting down for good. he was extremely anemic and needed a ton of transfusions, narrowly avoiding dialysis, and we spent weeks in the hospital keeping him alive. he was placed on two different kinds of chemotherapy to combat the disorder. he lost his hair, went through even more fatigue and pain on top of what the disease had already put him through, and had to accept a plethora of changes to his life that will last forever. a lot of you out there have harrowing experiences of your own when it comes to chronic and potentially terminal conditions, too, I’m certain. “it’s not fun” is an understatement. though there were a couple of really fucking close calls, zae’s GPA went into remission. his hair grew back fuller and more luscious than it had ever been before. (i later learned these are affectionately referred to as “chemo curls.”) remission for gpa is usually expected to last at least 5 years, potentially up to 20, before any symptoms resurface. but zae’s case was particularly aggressive, so of course he’s not so lucky. he’s relapsing now. his symptoms have been slowly returning, and it’s been decided that he’s going back on chemo. it’s no surprise that this shit is expensive, even with insurance. we’re still paying off the care he received last time because ‘murca. being disabled myself, work has been… let’s call it inconsistent, yeah? yeah, that’s a nice and comfortable thing to call it. no one’s doing well financially these days, so we of course have to get creative. long story short(er), i’m doing a commission special! for the next MONTH, i am offering fast commissions at crazy-low prices to try and help us create a cushion to keep us afloat and relatively comfortable while we begin the chemo process again. there’s several options for a variety of budgets, because i really hate the idea of seeking something for nothing, and i absolutely abhor having to reach out in this way. it makes me feel vulnerable and icky and… i’m sure you all understand that, too. i can’t thank you all enough just for following me, and engaging with mine and zae’s work. it may sound trite, but that really makes a difference to us, especially when we’re dealing with something so painful. so if you can’t or don’t want to partake of the sale, please know that you are still a huge help to us, and we seriously appreciate each and every one of you. like, so fucking much. thanks y’all love, fletch

END TRANSCRIPT

Commission Options:

Flash Sketches: $5USD/character

Comics: $5USD/panel - flat color

Comics: $10USD/panel - shaded color

Screenshot Redraws - $15USD/character (complex bgs, add $20)

all of this is posted with @zaebeecee's knowledge and blessing

please DM me if you're interested in something, and thank you again

more Hungry Games, fic fanart, and Persona stuff coming soon too

#my art #art commissions #personal stuff #fanart #fanart commissions #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #kingdom hearts #stardew valley #hazbin hotel fanart #helluva boss fanart #kingdom hearts fanart #stardew valley fanart #please share

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animeyanderelover · 11 months ago

Text

I recently saw a post where some people on Tumblr were mentioning that in posts the reader is often depicted as really small. So I decided to make the s/o in this story a bit taller, we're talking about 5 feet 8 inches. It'll probably be irrelevant because Toji is really big but I wanted to start somewhere. Also, despite writing an astonishing 8.4k words, there isn't really any mentions of any Yandere stuff yet. This was more of me establishing the key characters and introducing the conditions. I'll start writing Toji's downfall into obsession in part 2.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, overprotective behavior, jealousy, paranoia, abduction, violence, death

The CEO and her bodyguard

“(y/n), I just wanted to let you know that…(y/n)?”

The little woman let out a mildly worried sigh when she found you, your upper body sprawled over the large desk made out of mahogany in between a mess of different documents and other papers. Soft breaths escaped your mouth, your face smushed against a pile of the many documents and contracts. There was barely any light in the room, the earliest morning hours were still painted in only the busy lights of Tokyo with a dark sky to. The only source of light was the lamp placed on your desk. You didn’t stir much when she screeched and as soon as she realized that you were only asleep, she let out a relieved sigh.

She carefully walked closer to you, glancing at your sleeping face before reading briefly over the many documents and contracts messily placed on your desk. Her shoulders sagged a bit in defeat. She had carefully arranged and sorted them for you but of course you had to make everything so unmanageable for yourself. At least you had finished everything as far as she could tell. After all the deadline was in a few hours. Unbelievable, sometimes she wondered how you’d managed to inherit the Ito company in the first place.

She placed the files she had carried in her arms down on the desk, although it was a little struggle to find space on the table where you hadn’t scattered all the contracts and documents. After that she slowly tapped you on your shoulders to wake you up. As much as she would have loved to let you sleep since she knew that you had finished everything in one of your spontaneous night actions when the final countdown before the deadline gave you the rush of motivation and concentration to actually sit down and work, she had something important to discuss with you. Not to mention that it couldn’t have been good for your back to sleep in such a position.

The smaller woman slowly placed one of her hands on your shoulders before gently starting to shake you, hissing your name quietly out.

"(y/n)! (y/n)!"

You let out an incoherent grumble, slowly shifting your body up in the chair in such a slow and stiff motion that reminded the other woman of some depictions and movies she had seen featuring zombies. The low and weird groan you let out whilst sprawling your stiff limbs certainly added to that effect. You let out a jawn when you were finally seated straight in the chair, blinking a few times as you collected your still groggy mind from your sleep. When your eyes met the smaller woman standing right in front of your desk, you gave her a silly and sleppy grin.

"Aki-chan. What are you doing here?"

"Checking if you're done with the work you were supposed to do until today." The smaller woman answered you, watching with slight amusement and some concern as your frivolous grin was replaced by a slight frown when she mentioned something including 'work' before your eyes widened as you remembered what she meant.

"Flipping heck! What time is it?!" You shouted startled, the chair creaking ominously as you nearly jumped out of your seat before your hands flew to the wonderful mess on your desk. You gathered all wildly and completely out of original order placed documents close to you, hastily going through all of them.

"It's twenty past five in the morning. So we have roughly 40 minutes left before Sone-san has to deliver everything to our main building. You have finished everything, right?"

Her last word sounded slightly worried as she saw you hurrying through all the many papers and contracts, reading everything written on it rapidly to see if you had signed everything and had also finished your own thoughts, ideas and plans involving the future course of your industrial empire. You slumped down into your chair with relief written on your face when you were sure that you had done your job properly before arranging everything into a messy pile and handing it over to Aki with a sheepish grin.

"You may wanna rearrange that a bit because I already forgot in which order they were supposed to be in." You scratched the nape of your neck as you saw Aki throwing you a short glare.

"Not like you actually ever did this in the right order. You probably just grabbed what seemed most interesting for you at first and worked your way through everything randomly." Her grumbling voice made you chuckle a bit.

"Am I that obvious?"

"I've known you for nearly 20 years. Believe me, I know how your gears turn around up there."

Your eyes landed on the other pile of thick files she had brought with her and your face fell into a mildly mortified expression.

"Oh, you're kidding me! I just finished work! Do I have to do somethhing else now?!"

You let out a frustrated groan, banging your forehead against the mahogany wood. Gone were your hopes of going out for a while and touch some freaking grass after having been stuck in your apartment for nearly 2 weeks. Yes, you had a big apartment that had cost you about 2.3 million yen with a rooftop garden, four bedrooms, two jacuzzi baths and a restricted entry since the elevator of this place didn't go up to the fourth floor unless someone had the right key or you pressed a special button in your apartment which enabled the elevator to go up to the fourth floor. But that was no substitute for trailing down the buzzling streets of Tokyo, Shinjuku or Shibuya and visiting your favorite izakayas and bars.

"Those files don't mean any work for you. This time at least. This is actually something Sone-san, I and a few other people from Ito company have been planning to arrange for you since a while now. It's for your own safety."

Aki remarked, going through your finished work and slowly trying to sort all the mixed documents and reports back into its original order whilst throwing some glances at you. She looked weirdly serious, more serious than she already was. That probably meant that whatever those files included something unpleasant or something specifically unpleasant to you.

You cautiously eyed the pile of files she had brought with her before pulling it over. This time you weren't just scattering everything around as all of them looked from the outside identical so you grabbed the topmost file, opened it and read through the reports inside of it. Your eyebrows furrowed before you dropped the first file quickly on the desk before grabbing the second one, scanning rapidly through it before continuing this process through the next couple of files. Your facial expression gre more and more confused as your forehead had formed deep furrows, your eyebrows pulled together.

"Aki, what is this?" You asked her slightly flabbergasted as your gaze wavered back and forth between her form and the currently opened file in your hand.

"What does it look like to you?" She replied to you, sighing as she asked you this question as if already being able to predict your incoming reaction to the news.

"Well..." You started, tilting your head shortly as you gave the file a conflicted look. "It looks like you collected me a bunch of data for different highly acclaimed and trained bodyguards. If I wouldn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to force a babysitter onto me. But this has to be wrong."

You gave her a light laugh as you looked at her, waiting and praying for her stoic face to crack and tell you that this was a prank. Instead you were met with a serious look on her face, not a single muscle moving as she gave you that cursed look she always gave you when she was about to put you through something you would never do on your own account. When you were met with her unchanging facial expression, your own expression fell.

"No."

"Yes, (y/n). Yes."

"Why on earth would I need a bodyguard?!"

“For the very same reason you were forced into your apartment for the last 2 weeks.”

“You’re overreacting! Just because some random suspicious looking guy stumbled into the building and threatened to see me by essentially trying to break through the security doesn’t mean that I’m in immediate danger!”

“He had a knife with him!”

“He didn’t use it! Also, he didn’t get past the security anyways! Aki, you are-“

She lifted her index finger warningly which quickly made you shut up. Her eyebrows were twitching ever so slightly and she looked like she was having a headache. Then she just gave you that look that reminded you of an angry and disappointed mother.

“(y/n), I understand why you’re frustrated for being isolated like this. However, no one at the company wants a repeat of the incident 3 years ago. You’re too important for the company and as a CEO you have a responsibility.”

Her voice was matter-of-factly with just a slight edge to it that made you shrink the tiniest bit under her gaze. Impressive, considering that you were visibly taller than Aki. You pursed your lips when she mentioned the incident a couple of years ago.

“All of them were arrested or killed anyways so why do you mention it?”

“Because we believe that the guy who stumbled into the campus was a former member of their group.”

“…What?! B-But I thought…”

Your voice trailed off as you sank further down into your chair, a shocked look on your face as you digested the news Aki had just given you.

“We thought that too. However, turns out that a handful of them still exist outside. Their group has suffered irreparable damage so we at least don’t have to concern ourselves with any assassination attempts. What is very likely though is that they’ll try to come for the CEO of the Ito company. They’ll come for you. That’s why we need you to have a bodyguard.”

You spaced out for a moment, deep in your thoughts before you seemed to snap out of it. You tentatively reached for a folder of the many Aki and Sone-san had prepared for you and opened it, giving it this time a bit more time to scan through the detailed records and information of birthday, height, weight and experiences. Needless to say though, you still looked not entirely convinced.

“(y/n)…”

Your friend started, your eyes flickering away from the folder to look at her. Her stern expression had faded away for now as she looked at you with a more sympathetic and worried gaze.

“If you don’t want to do it for the company, do it for me. Even if the risks are lower, I don’t want to lose you.”

Wow, this warmed your heart. You were touched. Dang it, she won. You blew out some air as you just nodded.

“Fine. I’ll go through all of this and pick someone. Can’t leave you all alone after all. What would you do without me? You’d die out of boredom.”

“I could say the same about you. Without me you’d probably drown in all the paperwork or would literally forget any important appointment.”

~~~

Your eyes were glued to the ground as you walked through Tokyo's busy streets. It was early afternoon and you mindlessly picked up some of the things people walking past you were chatting about. You'd spent a considerable amount of time going through the folders, reading through all of the information Aki had collected about each and everyone of the bodyguards she had hand-picked herself. On the surface all of them seemed immaculate and you would have expected nothing less from your best friend. From snipers to professional boxers to martial art masters, all of them were experienced and skilled. Each one of them would be an excellent choice to protect you and yet...something just appeared to lack. You couldn't even put your finger around what it was besides that none of them had captured your interest.

They all seemed like terrible company and that would be a problem considering that your bodyguard would essentially be your second shadow. All were trained professionals and perfectionists, valued their work over fun and enjoyment. That shouldn't have been a surprise considering that Aki had picked all candidates as she herself was far too reserved and analytical most of the time. Of course she would want your bodyguard to have the same values as her but the problem was that that meant that you'd be stuck with an uptight and far too logical man for most of the day. Honestly, you wanted a drinking budyy who would cut you some slack instead of judging and scolding you instantly.

What gave you even more of an headache was the information Aki had given you. That there might still be some survivors from that assassination group. 3 years, it had been 3 years since that incident. Now the Ito company had you as their official CEO, the first woman in the history of the business. You'd done your best, hadn't you? Thanks to you business was flourishing and you had broadened your influence by melting together with smaller companies, branching out in different areas. You were doing good, weren't you? You owed them that much...

You abruptly stopped, trying to swallow back the dwelling feeling that was stuck in your throat like a lump. You didn't want to think about it anymore. The sound of laughter and cheers caught your attention as you lifted your head up. You were standing in front of a small alleyway. An izakaya was somehow cramped inside there and you didn't know if the inside of it would be as small as the exterior made it look like or if it would actually be more spacious. Loud noises came from inside and a whiff of smoke and food blew against your face. Your feet moved on their own accord as you walked inside through the shoji doors.

The smell of cigarettes and different foods intensified when you stepped inside as did the chatter of the many guests inside. Quite a few of them were smoking, puffing on their cigarettes whilst enjoying glasses filled with beer or some sake out of small wooden cups. Strangers were bumping elbows with each other, enjoying food and alcohol under the golden glow of the lights. A counter with a few seats facing the small and cramped kitchen was the first thing you saw, behind the counter the rest of the room was plastered with tatami-mats, a handful of low tables on it.

The owners of the izakaya, an eldery couple, greeted you kindly as you entered. Almost all of the places were taken, only two seats at the counter remained free and since you had entered now anyways and it would have been very impolite to leave again, you sat down right in front of the counter. You looked around, soaking in the carefree atmosphere inside this place before your eyes were drawn to the little TV hanging on the wall. All eyes of the customers were drawn to it and it dawned on you just then that most of them had some sort of ticket in their hand with numbers written on them. On each ticket, one specific number was encircled in red and when you took a closer look at what was played on the small TV, you realized that it seemed to be a horse race of some sort. So they were gambling, huh?

The small women, still taller than Aki though, approached you from behind the counter, offering you one of the tickets.

"Do you want to buy one too? You just have to stake your money on one of the numbers 1 to 7 and if the horse with the right number you bet on wins, you'll win 15000 yen."

You looked surprised around the interior, counting roughly 20 customers, yourself excluded. Then you turned around to look at her again.

"Wow. Will you financially be fine? I mean, you have a lot of customers and if a couple of them have staked on the right horse, you'll rid yourself of some money quickly."

"It's fine. We only do something like this twice a year. We have a lot of loyal customers here so we would like to give them back something for choosing to visit our izakaya as frequently as they do."

15000 yen really wasn't much, it was a grain of dust in comparison to the mountains of money you received and transferred everyday. You didn't plan on revealing your identity though, it was rather refreshing just feeling like a normal person enjoying her daily life as opposed to being known as the CEO of the arguably biggest and most influential company in all of Japan and having to uphold some sort of image. So despite your tiny voice of reasoning, you bought one ticket from her. And in the true spirit of a gambler, and also because you were woefully unaware of which horses in the race had a track of winning or not, you just went with a random number. You ordered some beer and Yakitori as well, watching the announcer introducing all of the horses since the race would soon start whilst also interviewing some of the horsemen and how they felt.

You initially didn't look up when you heard the owners of the izakaya shouting 'Welcome!' when another person entered through the shoji doors, your eyes drawn to the TV as you took tiny sips out of your beer. It wasn't until the person slid down on the only available seat which happened to be next to you. That's when you stopped sipping from your beer, your lips still attached to the glass as you stopped focusing on the TV. You didn't quite know how to describe it but you could sense some sort of powerful presence from next to you.

"Old lady, give me one of those tickets."

You turned around as you heard the sound of his voice, his range very unique. When you saw the mass of a man sitting next to you, your eyes became as wide as saucers. He was massive! Packed with muscles anywhere to the point where you were sure that he must have felt like a rock if you were to touch him. He had black hair, green eyes and a scar on the corner of his mouth that only added to his wild and roguish vibe. His clothes were casual, although his black shirt was so tight around him that you could clearly see the outline of every single portion of his upper body. He was ridiculously handsome, you had to admit that.

You were so caught up in admiring the bear of a man sitting next to you that you sort of forgot that you were staring at a stranger who looked like he could kill a man by flicking his forehead. So caught up in fact that you initially didn't even realize that he had noticed how you were looking at him.

"What are you staring at?" He asked you, his tone partially rude as he looked down on you. Despite his somewhat rude exterior, and damn intimidating one too, that didn't derogate your pure amazement in any way.

"You're really tall, mister. And muscular too. I think I've never met someone with such a physique." You told him in absolute awe, feeling somewhat a bit excited about sitting next to someone like him. Your self-proclaimed sixth sense told you that you should definitely try to get to know this one better.

"Are you like working out really hard to have such a body or were you just born with it?"

Your eyes finally left his muscles and looked up to meet his own gaze. One of his brows lifted up the slightest bit as he mustered you and the curious and excited look on your face. Apparently he hadn't expected you to compliment and then proceed to ask him for his way to have acquired such a body. His body looked sculpted, far too perfect for any human to ever achieve. Both of you just stared at each other, the gleam in your eyes sparkling as you looked for him, waited for him to say something whilst he seemed to think about what to say to you that would actually make you shut up. You didn't know if you were imagining it but he looked almost a bit puzzled with the way you were looking at him and responding to him.

Your face almost fell when the stranger decided to ignore you, ordering instead some takoyaki and draught beer before turning his attention to the TV. You were just about to try to spark a conversation with him again when the izakaya suddenly errupted in cheers and yells. Your head whipped around as you realized that the horse racing had started. Even the owners had joined in watching. Was gambling that popular and beloved? Would Aki allow you to enter that business too?

The desire to try to have a conversation with him was still there but you quickly let yourself be taken away by the excitement of the other customers, joining them in their cheers and shouts of encouragement. You didn't even care about the horse you had bet on and you forgot about it after a while too, just soaking in the atmosphere and allowing yourself admist the yakitori, the beer and the excitement, laughter, roars and yells of everyone else who had gotten at this point a bit drunk to forget all of your worries. It was an amazing moment for you and you made a note in your mind to definitely visit this place more often. When finally one of the horses with the number 5 crossed the finish line, you cheered for it regardless of whether it had been the horse you'd placed your bets on or not.

Collective groans and a couple of cheers echoed throughout the cramped interior as winners and losers either celebrated or lamented over their choices. You picked up an annoyed scoff from the man next to you and when you turned around and saw the slightly annoyed look on his face, you knew that he belonged to the group of people who hadn't made the right bet. Well, not like you were one to talk. You had also just picked a number by sheer coincidence. Ah, talking about that...

You pulled out the lot you had brought from the old lady which you realized you had stuffed in the pocket of your suit. You couldn't even remember which number you had chosen. You held it in front of your face...and just stared at it. The nice old lady happened to glance at the encircled number on the lot as she cleaned up all the empty glasses and plates on the counter.

"Congratulations, Miss. You've won." She told you in a warm tone as you were still staring somewhat dumbfounded at the number five you had staked your money upon. This was your first time ever gambling like this. Maybe you should try it more often? Or maybe not because Aki would surely make your ears bleed if she'd ever catch you gambling and wasting your money.

"Huh...Lucky me, I guess." You muttered to yourself. You were better in this than expected. You looked up to the guy sitting next to you and you actually caught his gaze lingering on you, presumably because you had made the right choice and won. Then he turned his head around, looking disinterested as he gulped down the last bit of his beer before suddenly standing up. Was he planning on leaving already? Was it because he had lost? This was bad, you had planned to chat a bit with him. You looked down on the winning lot and then back to him leaving and decided that in all honesty, you already had enough money.

"Hey! Heeey!" You called after him so that he would notice and turn around. He did turn his head in your direction and so did a lot of other people but you didn't care much. Most of them were drunk anyways and the 2 or 3 glasses of beer you had consumed yourself had certainly given you some courage. Not that you didn't have enough already.

"Do you want this?" You asked him, holding the lot with the winning number on it up. He tilted his head a bit and you could see his green eyes glaring at you. Geez, had you said something wrong?

"Keep it for yourself." He answered before turning his back to you. Now you were probably going to be an 'annoying leech' as Aki sometimes called you but unfortunately for you and everyone else around you, you could be awfully persistent when it came to something that caught your interest.

"Why? Don't you want the money? That's the whole reason why you got so pissed when your pick didn't win." You spoke as you walked hastily after him. A part of you knew that this wasn't without any danger because he seemed like someone not to mess with but you were curious right now. Also, you would like to get to know him better. Apparently he didn't appreciate being followed like this as he abruptly turned around and you nearly crashed into him. If looks could kill, you'd be dead by now. He really was damn intimidating. He'd make a good bodyguard with that body and his look...

"I don't want your stupid lot." He repeated himself, his glare unrelenting and you would have lied if you would have claimed that you weren't a bit scared right now. You swallowed heavily but still, walking away now would just make you look stupid and like a coward. You didn't want that either even if literally no one would have blamed you for it.

"Then tell me why." You insisted.

He stared at you, you held his gaze as good as you could. You were slightly frightened but also quite defiant right now. Eventually the anger partially faded as annoyance took over yet surprisingly, he answered you. You didn't know why. You had either expected him to just leave or knock you out. Perhaps it was a sign of some respect for you actually showing some guts in front of him?

"I don't need your pity."

"Pity?" You repeated after him slightly confused. Then your face lightened up with realization. “Ah, so that is what you mean! Don’t worry, don’t worry.” You waved your hand dismissively.

“I earn enough money already as it is so those 15000 yen aren’t really much to me. And before I let you leave and walk along the streets with a look on your face that would make everyone think that you’re about to kill someone, I’d rather just give it to you. Instead of the rich people getting richer, wouldn’t you want to take it instead to make your visit here at least worthwhile? If you don’t want it though, I’ll just give it to someone else here.”

You held the ticket a bit closer to his face, looking at him with big eyes. The look of anger had transformed into something else. It almost appeared like he was a bit flabbergasted as he scrutinized you as if you were an alien. The lot in your hand was left ignored and after a while you just let out a disappointed sigh.

“Fine. Be an idiot and ignore me then. You’re no fun after all.” You grumbled as you turned around and marched back into the izakaya to just hand it to someone else. You stopped though when you felt his hand reaching out for the lot and tugging it out of your hand. You spun giddily around as he observed the lot in his hands before sparing you a quick glance.

“Don’t think too much about it.” He spoke before walking through the shoji doors to collect the money. You waited outside for him. A question was burning on your tongue that you wanted to ask him. He didn’t look exactly surprised when he came outside and saw you still standing there although he did look a tiny bit annoyed.

“Listen. Just because I took the lot from you doesn’t mean-“

“Are you strong, Mister?”

Once again, you managed to make his tough exterior crumble for a short moment as you interrupted him in favor of asking him your question. He looked for a second or two puzzled, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Do I look like I’m not strong to you?” He asked, putting one of his hands on his hips as he gazed down at you in an attempt to figure you out.

“Oh, you look like you could break someone’s neck with ease. I just need to see for myself.”

“…Why do you want to know anyways?”

He was actually engaging in a conversation with you! Perfect! Now you only needed to convince him.

“Because I’m considering hiring you so that you can work for me.”

He hadn’t expected your answer. The bewildered look on his face appeared again, observing your face as if thinking that you were joking only to figure out that you were dead serious.

“You’re not joking, are you?”

“I am not. So, I need you to tell me where you are working so that I can talk to your boss and convince him to let you leave your current job so that I can make you work for me and-Hey, where are you going?”

“What are you? A moron? What makes you think that I’ll work for you just because you gave me 15000 yen?”

He didn’t even turn around as he casually walked away from you. How infuriating! However, now you were fully invested. You just needed to catch his attention somehow again.

“You’re talking quite big. But I bet that I could convince you to work for me in 10 seconds.”

The provocation did its job. He halted in his steps and slowly turned around.

“Hoo? You think that it’ll be that easy?”

“It will be.”

You replied confidently as you pulled something out of your handbag. A piece of paper alongside with a pen.

“What’s your name?”

“…Fushiguro Toji.”

You started scribbling something down on it before walking to him, holding the check in between your index and middle finger.

“If you still reject after this, you’re either the most strong-willed person I’ve met or the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

He ripped the check out of your hand, his gaze on you for a few moments longer before he read what you had written on the check. The first thing that caught his eye was the ridiculous sum of money written on it. You had mentioned that 15000 yen wasn’t much for you but if you could casually throw out such a huge sum of money, you were even richer than he had expected. The other thing that caught his attention was the name written on it, presumably your name. (l/n) (y/n).

Wasn’t that…?

“Are you…?”

“Yes, I am. With that knowledge in mind now, what do you say?”

The corner of his mouth was pulling itself slightly up as a cocky grin spread on his face.

“Are you always walking around and throw money at whoever you deem you want to work for you? Must feel nice, being so dirty rich as you are.”

“I don’t do that with just anybody. I am stuck most of the day either in my office at work or in my office at home so if you believe it or not, you’re the first person I’m doing this with. Also, if I am as ‘dirty rich’ as you call it, I might as well use my money.”

You weren’t all that stupid after all. He could at least acknowledge that.

“What would you do if I would still decline?”

He wanted to test you, you knew that. Perhaps to abuse you a bit since you were showing so much interest in him right now.

“I would probably be quite upset and try to still convince you until I’m forced to quit and find someone else who will do the job for me. Then I’ll probably find someone or something else which will catch my attention and my interest in you will disappear until you’ll only remain as a small memory in my head. You’re at least memorable enough so that I won’t forget you like I do with 90% of the people around me.”

You were pleasantly surprised when he huffed amused when hearing your honest answer.

“You have no filter, do you?”

“No, I usually say what I think.”

“What would you want me to do if I were to work for you?”

“Tell me, Fushiguro-san. Have you ever been a bodyguard before?”

"...Bodyguard, huh?"

~~~

"Can you drive a little bit faster?"

"May I ask why? You seem to be in an awful rush ever since (y/n)-san called you with a request to pick her up?"

Sone Kazuma always had to be so worringly calm and collected. Which on the one hand made him perfect for his role within the company as one of your closest assistants but she felt like he was sometimes a little bit too soft around you. Almost acted like the kind grandpa when around you.

"She calmed me randomly and begged me to pick her up because she had a surprise for me. I do not trust her sudden burst of joy. If it is one of her idiotic ideas again, she'll have to walk home on her own to reflect on herself."

"Am I driving or are you?" Sone replied amused from behind the wheel as he saw the wrinkles forming on the younger woman's face before she leaned back in her seat. She observed the many streets outside and all the cars passing by the window. She could only wonder what you had come up with this time.

"Is it here?" Sone asked her, his question pulling her out of her thoughts as he drove into a parking in the middle of a block with lots of cheaper apartments available.

"It is. She should be around here somewhere." Aki replied as Sone drove around in search for a spot, parking it in an empty spot before she finally opened the door and exited the car. Her eyes were wandering around the place as she couldn't help but wonder why you had chosen this place to be picked up. Sure, it was easier in a more empty street for Sone to find place to park compared to the busy and full streets of Tokyo but she couldn't help but feel like this was a bit dangerous. Especially if some members of the assassination group were still lurking around.

"Where is she? She's late." Aki grumbled as she pulled out her flip phone and dialed your number in, prepared to call you and give you directions if you should have gotten lost somehow.

"We just arrived, Aki-san. Let's wait a bit longer for (y/n)."

He gave her a reassuring nod and she decided to try to take his words to heart as she put the phone back into her backpag .

"5 minutes. No more."

It was rather quiet in this part of Tokyo as most of the population in the city were either at work or walking around in the full and lively streets and it was rather strange. Aki enjoyed the silence though, she wasn't the biggest fan of overly crowded places as it was personally hard for her to properly concentrate under such conditions. She followed the hand on her watch as it slowly ticked away.

1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes...

"There she is. Seems like she found us."

Indeed. When Aki glanced up and followed Sone's gaze, she saw you waving from across the parking lot. Then her gaze landed on someone big right behind you and for a short moment, her usually composed mask wavered a bit as she saw the person right behind you. Massive and tall were the first things that came to her mind as he, she assumed at least that it was a man, trailed closely behind you. For the shortest split of a second she feared that he might be after you but even you couldn't have been dumb enough to not notice a person as tall as him following you so closely. Not to mention that she actually saw you turning around to him, pointing in her and Sone's direction. She glanced at Sone only to see that he had kept his calm smile, although she saw the flash of curiosity as he watched you getting closer, urging the other man to walk a bit faster.

"Aki-chan! Aki-chan! I did it! I found one!"

You cheered happily as if you had just accomplished a sublime feat and wanted her to praise you for it. Aki on the other hand couldn't stop focusing on the man behind you who she could now actually see clearer now that he was so close. A tight black shirt, dark trousers which were more on the baggy side and, from what she could at least tell, green eyes. She pursed her lips, her eyes nervously darting back and forth between you and him as she tried her hardest to suppress the fact that she was slightly intimidated now. You were already quite a bit taller than her and frequently teased her about it but even you didn't look as tall anymore in comparison to your unknown companion and if she would have stood right in front of him, the top of her head wouldn't have even reached his shoulders.

She had seen tall people before but never someone who had possessed such a pronounced physique with muscles over muscles layered across his body. She held the saliva back that she had almost swallowed just now as she attempted her best to put appear unfaced as she slowly tore her gaze away from him. She bit her tongue when he spared a glance down at her and seemed to grin slightly as if sensing her fear.

"(y/n), who is this?"

"My new bodyguard! Isn't he great?" You gestured excitedly at him with the same troublesome infatuated excitement you always held as soon as you found something extraordinary or had a new 'great' idea.

"What?"

"My bodyguard. You wanted me to choose one, right?"

For the first time in quite a while, Aki was actually left speechless as she just stared at you, spacing out in the process. He hadn't been on the list of candidates she had handed you earlier this morning. You had really just done it, hadn't you? You had picked a random man you had met on the streets and had handed your safety and security over to a total stranger. It was almost surreal.

"No."

"Yes, Aki. Yes." You replied, nodding happily as if to enhance your point. She felt the urge to lash out for a bit as the frustration bubbled hotly up in her chest but she tried to compose herself as good as she could. You had a good eye despite sometimes acting like you had been dropped first on your head as a baby, you wouldn't take this subject lightly. Esecially not with them possibly still around.

Her eyes were almost spitting fire even if her face was mostly emotionless as she looked up at him.

"You, what's your name?"

"Fushiguro Toji." He replied as he held her gaze, unfazed by the passive-aggressive tone she had just used to refer to him in a slightly rude fashion.

"What is your current job?"

Green eyes glanced at your own as if asking if he really had to answer all of those questions. When you gave him a weak nod, your eyes begging him to just go along with Aki's sudden interrogation, he rolled his eyes.

"I don't have one."

"You don't have one?" Aki repeated in a dissatisfied tone, scrutinizing him more sharply all of a sudden.

"I take some jobs when they're offered to me, receive my payment after I'm finished and then leave and wait for the next employment offered to me."

"So you're some sort of freelancer?"

"You could say that."

"Is that so?"

You could tell that Aki wasn't convinced at all judging by the way she eyed Fushiguro suspiciously. There was some tension in the air as both of them were glaring at each other and even if the height difference was almost painful to witness, Aki held her own ground well against him.

"Okay, everyone. Let's stop looking at each other as if hoping that the other one will drop dead all of a sudden. We should drive to my apartment instead to finish all the formalities. Fushiguro-san here has to sign a contract after all." You interfered as you stepped between those two in an attempt to appease both of them.

"You're really serious about hiring him? A random man you just met on the streets?" Aki inquired once more as she gave you a long and serious look. Your awkward smile fell from your face as you saw the hidden concern in her eyes, the sceptism if he was even trustworthy. And you couldn't blame her for it.

"I know that this is very sudden and I know that it looks really stupid. But you just have to trust my intuition right now. I have a feeling that he'll be the perfect choice."

"You're putting your safety and life in the hands of a stranger you just met because of your gut feeling?"

"Yes. I'm trusting my instincts here. I'm not going to ignore what my feelings tell me anymore."

He observed the sudden change in your facial expression half-interested as it suddenly matched Aki's serious expression whilst also noticing your little friend's own determination wavering as she witnessed your own.

"What about you? Why did you choose to suddenly work for her?" She eventually asked as her eyes flew to his form again, this time inspecting him more neutrally.

"For the money."

She let out a sigh, although she didn't seem to be very surprised. At least she hadn't expected anything more from him.

"Of course that's your answer. Are you suited for the role though? Can you really guard her against anything and anyone that might endanger her life?"

"Are you underestimating me? That's the second time someone has questioned me about my own capabilities today."

His green eyes shortly darted to you as he said this and Aki felt a wave of relief washing over her when she understood that you had been the first one to question him about it. At least you hadn't hired him completely blindly.

"I assume as long as the payment is right, you'll fulfill your job then?"

"That goes without saying."

She appeared to consider it thoroughly as she glanced at him, glanced at you, glanced at him again before her eyes were averted to the older men standing a few feet away from all three of them.

"Sone-san, what are your thoughts?" She asked him for his help, still quite a bit conflicted about this entire situation.

"I say that we give him a shot. From his looks alone he seems to be promising and if his motives lie only in money I don't think we have to worry. The Ito company is unmatched when it comes to wealth and influence so he shouldn't stray away from us. I have a hunch that it's better to have him on our side than to have him as an enemy."

That sounded surprisingly more shady than Toji had expected from someone so kind-looking but on the other hand people in power were rarely not corrupted somehow.

His own opinion finally seemed to cause Aki to give in as she let out a incoherent grumble before giving you the best angry look she could muster.

"If he messes up even a bit, I will have him fired and then I will pick your next bodyguard myself."

~~~

He had to hold a grin in when he saw Aki shuffling out of the car as soon as they arrived at their destination. She had appeared to sit under fire the entire care ride despite her hardest attempt to not let anyone notice. Her rigid body had told him something different though. You on the other hand had busily chatted with Sone as he had driven all four of you to your apartments. Apparently all three of you lived in the same building with the roof and the fourth floor belonging entirely to you, Aki owning one of the two apartments in the third floor and Sone living in one of the three apartments on the second floor. Otherwise the building was uninhabited since it was only for people who worked extremely close to you and despite Aki's greatest displeasure, he would be living there too. As your new bodyguard it would be wisest after all to have him all the time as close to you as possible.

Toji had to admit though that he was a bit disappointed when he saw the exterior of the building, the most boring grey sad thing he could see everywhere else in this city.

The interior however, looked far more pleasing. The first floor was the lobby of this place. An empty reception desk to welcome the most likely limited visitors into this place and, for whatever reason, a water fountain embedded into the wall. A few paintings were hung up on the walls, some showing some landscapes of cherry blossoms or landscapes and others looking like someone had given a toddler some colours, a canvas and told them to just left them alone with it. Well, all that money had to be wasted somewhere after all.

It got more interesting when all four of you got into the elevator and Aki pulled out a key, sliding it into the key hole within the lift and turned it around. One of the buttons, the one someone had to press in order to reach the fourth floor, suddenly lit up and Aki left the key in the hole as she pressed the now functioning button.

You noticed Toji's eyes resting on the key and took it upon yourself to explain to him.

"You need such a key in order to reach the fourth floor unless I'm in my apartment and press a button in my own apartment which would also allow it to reach up to the fourth floor. Currently only Aki, Sone-san and I possess such keys."

"Do I get one too then?"

You wanted to answer but were interrupted by Aki.

"Not just yet. I'm not allowing you to have one unless I'm convinced that I can trust you."

He let out a scoff through his teeth but didn't push it any further. Losing such a job with that much money offered to him would be too much of a shame.

Your own apartment was at the end of a longer hallway and already made everything look fancy and special but he couldn't help but be actually impressed when you unlocked the door and let him and the other two inside. It was huge with lots of rooms inside. He could have probably spent a good amount of time exploring each and every room but he was ushered by Aki to follow her as she marched into what appeared to be a living room.

A sliding door was right next to him and seemed to separate another room from this area. Despite the space you had for yourself, there were surprisingly few pieces of furniture. A TV installed on the wall, a modestly sized couch and what appeared to be a desk for you to do all your work on.

"This is where I live. I also have a garden up on my rooftop."

You welcomed him, gauging him for his reaction. You were just hoping that he wouldn't just see you as a spoiled and rich woman for your apartment. It hadn't originally belonged to you. You had just been forced to take it after the previous owner had been unable to live in it anymore.

"You have a garden on the roof?"

"Yes, she has. But we didn't bring you here for sightseeing."

Aki told him quickly and matter-of-factly before letting you actually offer him to show him the roof which was completely irrelevant to why he was here.

"Where exactly will I be livingthen? On the third or second floor?"

Hmm...I think having you on the third floor would be more convenient because you would be closer to me. What do you think, Aki? Would that be alright with you if the two of you would be neighbours?"

She didn't look thrilled about it at all as she threw him a side glance.

"Do whatever you want." She mumbled after a few moments and turned her head away from him, resigning herself to her fate.

"That was easier than expected but I'm glad that this is settled. Sone-san will give you the key to the other apartment on the third floor then." You said, looking mildly surprised at Aki as you had expected her to argue more.

"Don't get any wrong ideas, I think we should focus more on the contract and explain all the rules and conditions to him instead of quarreling where he will live because he will live in this building anyways and I'll have to see him regularly for now no matter what. So-"

"Ah! Before I forget it. Fushiguro-san, do you have any family? Children? A wife? Someone else, regardless if it is a relative or friend? If there is anyone, I could arrange for them to live with you or at least in the same building."

Aki arched her eyebrow as if she had expected you to have asked him such a question already but decided to keep quiet. You looked expectantly at Toji.

"There's no need for that. I'm by myself."

Pt.2

Tags: @saiyara05

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere toji #yandere fushiguro toji

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the-kr8tor · 1 year ago

Note

Hello! If you haven’t yet I was thinking for fluffy Friday I could leave a suggestion

So Hobie is doing work as reader is watching their favourite slow burn Romcom but readers get all frustrated when the characters that have been pinning over each other for 3 whole seasons still haven’t kiss

You can tweak anything about this btw!

Thank you for requesting, angel! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food mentions, some swearing, FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“Arrghh!” You bite your pillow in frustration. The sound makes Hobie look up from fiddling with his web shooters on the kitchen table.

It's a quiet night in your shared flat, save for the mutterings on the telly and Hobie’s tools clunking and squeaking. The atmosphere is relaxed, added with the smell of popcorn and skittles mixed in, it truly feels like you're in the movies without the company of a large crowd of course. It's just you, Hobie and the couple on your favourite show that's been pining for each other for the past three seasons. Frustration doesn't cut it anymore, you're pissed. You just want them to just kiss and finally start their life together. But alas it just doesn't work like that, the yearning always gets to you, makes your stomach flip from all the tantalizing stares, entertaining banter and lingering touches. You commend the actors’ chemistry but you would like it very much for them to just snog each other, or at least confess.

You sit with your legs crossed over the other, fluffy socks tickling your bare legs. He looks at the back of your shaking head curiously, the telly's blue light casting a halo around you.

Hobie drops what he's doing, mechanical parts clinking on the wooden table. He turns off his lamp, promptly sauntering over to you. Draping himself over the back of the couch, his body folded in half just to look at the angry face you're making.

“Does that pillow taste good, lovey?” He picks up a popcorn, flicking it inside his mouth. Chewing, he tugs at the pillow you're currently munching on. “Why make popcorn when you've got our throw pillow, huh?”

“I'm fucking seething” sure enough, you grit your teeth, letting the poor pillow go.

“Not at me right?”

You scrunch your nose, “No, I'm not mad at you. Why? Is there something you did?” twisting your body, you look behind you, expecting a fire right on the table. It wouldn't be the first time.

You exhale out a relieved breath after finding the kitchen still intact and fire free.

“No? Not that I can think of” Hobie mumbles out.

“What's that?”

“Nothin'. Why are you mad?” He pokes your side.

“Because!” You gesture wildly at the telly. “These bitches are so stupid!”

Hobie laughs loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls. “Woah, language!” He jokes, earning you a soft chuckle. “What did those ‘bitches’ do to make you this angry?”

“They haven't even confessed to each other yet and it's been three fucking seasons of pining and longing! It's driving me nuts!” You wave your hands dramatically.

He looks at you with a half smile and a twinkle in his eyes the entire time you were ranting. Hobie slides his hand to your upper arm, rubbing affectionately to calm the fire in you.

You sigh, bumping your head to his, leaning towards his touch. “Sorry, too much?”

“Nah, I like it when you're passionate. Makes me feel normal about me ranting to you about…well everythin’” His back aches from the prolonged position, he doesn't mind though because he can still reach over to your cheek to press a soft kiss. Now his neck aches.

“Tell me more” He grunts, snaking his entire body down towards the couch, head bumping to your legs. You help with your hands over his shoulder and back, guiding him down for a softer landing.

You tell him about the plot from season one to where you're currently caught up. He listens intently, nodding and eating popcorn along the conversation. Hobie replies back a snarky comment or scoff when you're in a particular plot point that is incredibly ridiculous that no one in the world has probably experienced. Still, you and Hobie end up watching the show’s greatest hits and important bits because he insisted himself, he needed to see it with his own eyes. It's safe to say he ended up being invested in the story and characters.

Hobie ends up curled up with you on the settee, blanket draped over your legs that's wrapped in his long ones. His cold feet make you jump when he decides it's a good time to tease you when a boring part comes on. His arms envelope your entire torso, hands hidden under your shirt, resting on the soft skin of your hip.

You're completely relaxed, head resting on his chest, cheek smooshed, hands tracing his sides, eyes slowly drooping. Fighting a yawn, you hear the deep rumble in his chest, an unmistakable chuckle.

Peeking up, you raise an eyebrow questioningly. There was nothing funny happening on the screen, not even a throwaway joke.

Hobie notices your stare, a smirk playing on his lips, you have no idea how the telly's light makes him more handsome, you didn't even know it was possible for him to become more attractive.

“Why were you even mad? They're just like us before we were together”

You lean back, scoffing, eyebrows knitted together. “No, we weren't like that”

He looks at you with a face that says: are you sure about that?

Gasping, you look like a meteor struck you with realization. Now you remember why some of the (most frustrating) scenes in the show were so familiar to you. Because you lived through it with the man next to you. (He's currently laughing his ass off)

“Fuck! We used to be those stupid bitches!”

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kindnessoverperfection · 8 months ago

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Feel free to ignore this, but I'm a disabled writer who tends to focus on representation in my works, and I came across your posts about having npd while doing research for a side character in a story of mine. I really appreciate you taking the time to write out a description of npd that shows the roots of the issues and the way they affect the people who have it rather than how outsiders perceive it. I just wanted to ask if there were any traits of npd that you personally would like to see in npd representation/ if you have any thoughts on how you'd like to see characters with npd represented in media? I know at current there's basically no positive npd rep, which sucks for sure, but in a hypothetical situation where there was a character with npd who wasn't villianized for it, what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?

Once again, feel free to ignore this ask if I'm overstepping at all, and I hope you have a wonderful day <3

Hi!! ♡ Apologies for the late reply, I wasn't on tumblr for a few days, then my alter was out for the next couple days and I wanted to be the one to respond-

I really appreciate that you're taking the time to research and create thoughtful representation, and I'm glad my posts could offer some help with that!

My first two thoughts are:

Characters whose symptoms present differently than the common portrayal of NPD

It's super common for people to not recognize NPD because they have this very limited view of what it is and how it can present - so it would be nice to see representation that shows variety in the way it can manifest.

For example, it's actually very common for someone with the disorder to primarily "lash in" rather than "lash out", but I never see that represented (intentionally, at least).

There's also a very limited perception of narcissistic characters being blatantly arrogant, grandiose, braggy, selfish, power-hungry, etc. But really, there's an unlimited number of ways someone can present outwardly, because the only thing that's crucial to the diagnosis is the internal experience - how if affects the person who has it. How they appear outwardly to others can vary wildly.

(I'll admit, some of these "stereotypical NPD" characters feel very relatable due to shared symptoms and vibes and power fantasies. To the extent that I have one of them as my pfp on some accounts lol. But if you met me IRL, my vibes are just "confident and bubbly, polite, quiet and distant, fashion-oriented, straight A student, cutesy, braggy, adventurous", and I always make the effort to be kind to people even though I can be somewhat distant and goal-oriented.)

It's also common to think of someone "flying into a rage" when they feel criticized - but anger (whether external or internal) isn't an inherent part of it. The issue is that someone perceives criticism as a threat, so their fight/flight/freeze/fawn response kicks in, and there's a large multitude of ways that can show up.

(Personally, I go into either fight or fawn mode. But the vast majority of the anger I've felt has been entirely self-directed, manifesting in the form of self-criticism, self-hatred, self-destruction, overworking, eating disorders, etc. I will occasionally feel outwards anger, but when I do, I give myself time and space to process it by myself so that I don't upset anyone. And even for those who feel external anger much more often than I do, it doesn't mean they'll express it in an aggressive or harmful way.)

tldr; I'd love to see a variety of outwards presentations, with the NPD being shown via their internal experience, rather than only displayed through stereotypical external behaviors.

2. Humanization for characters with NPD who make mistakes

People with NPD are human just like everyone else, which means that mistakes happen. Everyone accidentally fucks up, hurts someone, lacks self-awareness in certain areas, etc.

The level and type of interpersonal struggles, and the reasons behind these struggles, are all across the board. That's understood with any other disorder (or any sort of identity), but there's so much extra baggage and stigma applied when NPD is involved for some reason.

So for characters with NPD with higher interpersonal conflict, I'd want them to be humanized in the same way that anyone else with any other identity would be humanized. And I'd also want it shown that characters who don't have NPD can have high interpersonal conflict as well, that it's not limited to this disorder.

"what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?"

In terms of specific aspects-

Personally, I'd love to see a character who like... tries to be perfect. Is externally very put-together in some way - maybe they're very kind and soft-spoken and sweet, or they're silly and happy and energetic, or they're quiet and serious and protective, or calm and mysterious and self-assured, doesn't matter. But everything seems okay on the surface.

But internally, they put so much pressure on themself. They hold themself to impossible standards, and feel like they HAVE to be seen a certain way and never show weakness. They have to handle everything perfectly. Just... so many symptoms and struggles that are hurting them internally, and overtime it ends up bubbling out in small ways, or like. Tbh I'd love it if someone would just... notice.

Notice the perfect bubbly happy straight-A student who's always kind and never shares their own opinions. Notice the quiet, highly-skilled protector of the group who somehow always knows the right thing to say and the right way to act.

And give them permission to be imperfect. To be human. Show them that they aren't their reputation or their skills or how impressive they are, they're so much more than that.

They can see the pain they're in, and instead of treating them as this untouchable perfect being, they treat them in a human way.

The super bubbly character seems completely unaffected by recent tragedy? Okay. Their friend doesn't ignore that. They don't push and prod, but they don't ignore it. They sit with them, spend time with them, hold them, they know it affected them.

I'm imagining a scene where the character w/NPD fucks up somehow, and they seem fine, but someone close to them suddenly Realizes and they just. Go to find them. And they're just having a massive breakdown, but the moment they see their friend, they quickly try and shove everything under the surface and act cool and unaffected and "normal", but their friend goes over and just holds them and. Ungh. 10/10

Couple months ago I did actually see an episode of a show like that, and both times I watched it, I bawled my fuckin eyes out lol.

Different people may have different answers in terms of what they'd feel most comforted by, but for me personally, I'd love this so much, because this is how I present and I desperately want to be Seen and Loved and have someone see my self-worth as being inherent and not tied into how "perfect" I am.

Closing thoughts:

Personally, there's not much that I'd feel offended by. To be honest, in addition to characters who fit the above points (various presentations, average-level interpersonal conflict, etc.), I also write characters who have that "stereotypical" presentation. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's not done maliciously, especially if there's other types of characters shown. (Similar to having both gay villains and gay protagonists or side characters, y'know)

The only thing I'd dislike / that would hurt my feelings is like... seeing a character be heavily demonized for their traits*, or the only characters with NPD being horribly abusive, or the usage of stigmatizing language (aka, if the character is spoken about the way buzzfeed articles speak about us).

*aka, demonized for the symptoms. Totally fine if someone does something shitty and it's pointed out as being shitty / if people dislike them for that lol.

Hopefully this isn't getting too long, but to give an example of what I mean, something I saw that did hurt my feelings was like-

There was an episode of a show where a character got super braggy and confident, and was relishing in the praise and admiration she was getting. Hinging her self-worth on that recognition and success. And her friends got annoyed and pissed off, simply because she was braggy. There were a couple of things here and there she did that were kind of insensitive, but that was never really pointed out or seen as the main issue, it was only her bragging that was being demonized for some reason.

And then her friends all ganged up behind her back and did something to intentionally trigger a crash and make her feel insecure and terrible about herself, all to "knock her down a peg". And the narrative framed that as being justified, framed her friends as being correct in this situation. They never once showed concern for her mental health or the fact that she was hinging her self-worth on other people's opinions of her, they tore her down for her bragging instead of either a) supporting and uplifting her, or b) showing concern for unhealthy mindsets, and they never even tried to approach her or communicate with her about the things she was doing that actually were insensitive.

Hopefully that wasn't too much of a tangent lol, but that's the type of thing I mean by "being demonized for their traits". Hate when all a character is doing is bragging and feeling good about themself and the narrative frames them in an extremely negative light for it :(

Okay I will wrap up the post here as it's already pretty long, but hopefully this helped a bit!! Thank you for the question, and good luck with your writing! ^^

#actuallynpd #writing #npd representation

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alexanderwales · 1 month ago

Text

"Railroaded" is an adversarial roleplaying game for two people, adjudicated by AI. I tried coding a crappy version of it, and it worked poorly enough that I didn't pursue it further, but hey, maybe someday, once the hallucination and attention and persistent memory and jailbreaking problems are all solved.

One player is the Dungeon Master. They can establish things to be true about the world, write dialogue for NPCs, and adjudicate conflict resolution. Anything established cannot be changed unless there's reason for this general knowledge to be found untrue later (e.g. if a village established to exist has been burned down). All these things can also be delegated to the AI, and in fact the Dungeon Master can be played by the AI.

The Dungeon Master's goal is to get the player to do the Quest, which is given to the Dungeon Master at the start of the game.

One player is the Player. They can control their character and establish things to be true about that character, and also attempt actions which are adjudicated by the Game Master. Anything the player establishes to be true remains true, unless changed by the Game Master, and then it still must be true that the Player's character could have thought whatever the Player said was true (e.g. if the Player says their character has a dead brother, the Game Master can say that the brother survived the fall off the cliff somehow). All these things can also be delegated to the AI, and in fact the Player can be played by the AI.

The Player's goal is to not do the Quest.

Generally speaking, I think it's nearly impossible for the Game Master to get the Player to do the Quest, even if the Player has information asymmetry working against him and can only infer the Quest from what the Game Master does.

Because of this, the game runs for some set amount of either in-game or out-of-game time, and after that's done, the AI decides the winner. The winner is decided on the basis of 1) how close the Player came to doing the Quest and 2) how unreasonable each player was.

The scoring criteria is really the sticking point, and one of the reasons that this is a good candidate for using AI. Since the game is adversarial, you need either a third player to play judge, which I don't think would go well, or you need some rigorous scoring system, which I don't think would be feasible for something that's meant to be extremely freeform. With an AI that does not, in my opinion, yet exist, you can have an endlessly patient judge who will at least rule relatively consistently. You can also have the judge give scoring guidance ahead of time, e.g. "If you do that, I will count it as within three degrees of reasonableness out of seven".

The end result is that the Game Master is trying to be subtle about railroading, and the Player is trying to be subtle about getting as far away from the railroad as possible.

So I did partially code this up with some prompts, with the intention of having the AI at least good enough to play one or both roles, or at least be able to judge, but it just didn't really work. Having these different "layers" of play is already straining what a modern LLM can model, since there's a Player and a player character and different goals for each of them. It only worked a few times, and it was great when it did, but it was wildly inconsistent in a way that I don't think fine-tuning and prompt-engineering are ever going to be able to fix, plus context windows still matter, and this is a game that ideally gets played over a relatively long back-and-forth of text.

There are also a bunch of details to hammer out, like "what are the Quests" and "how much time can the Player spend clarifying the state of the world" and "how much can the Game Master pin down the player's characterization", but that's all downstream of getting the basics in place, which again, I don't think modern AI can do.

Here's some example play:

GM: You're sitting in a tavern when you hear tell of a princess in Cambria who's been kidnapped by rogues. Player: None of my business. I've always been against the monarchy. GM: The king's putting little effort into saving the princess. Rumor is that she's expressed some reform sentiments, up to and including the abolition of the throne. It might even be that these "rogues" are under the king's employ. Player: Ah, but I only look out for myself, I've very selfish like that. GM: Northund is offering a reward for anyone who brings them the princess from Cambria, if they can fight their way through these rogues. It's a hefty price. Player: I took a vow of poverty, actually, to rid myself of material attachments. GM: Unfortunately for you, the king's guards come into the tavern. They're looking for you. Player: Probably my unpaid taxes, nothing that I don't have coin to deal with. GM: Coin? With your vow of poverty? Player: I mean, I still pay taxes, that's only fair. GM: Unfortunately for you, you're being deported. Player: Ah, let me guess, to Cambria?

I have enough skeletal python code and prompting to try getting this running periodically, if the models actually do improve or it seems like there's been some leap forward on the other issues.

#ai #game design

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dollwritesarchive · 2 years ago

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Dio's definitely the type to be like "just the tip" and then it straight up turns into noncon because hes a meanie like that. His excuse will probably be something along the lines of "you're just too cute I couldn't resist" 😳

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!joestar!reader, noncon, stepcest ( kinda ? adopt-cest?? if there’s a better term for this let me know? ), dio calls reader baby sister and little sister, loss of virginity, mean!dio, size kink, suggested abuse ( emotional and physical ), blackmailing, all characters featured are 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ IF I DONT WRITE FOR DIO AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH I WILL PERISH. do not repost or translate. please reblog && leave feedback. thanks for reading < 3

“Dio, don’t—“

it was all you could manage to blurt out before his large hand clamps over your mouth, muffling your protest to being bent over the dining room table. now, you could hear nothing but his heavy breathing in your ear, and the clinking of tea cups against their saucers as you struggled and pulled at the tablecloth. you’d knocked one over already, and stare at the steaming, amber liquid staining the pristine, white cloth. you would be in trouble for that later.

“Shhh, shh, sh.” Dio squeezed his fingers tight against your lips, but his other hand was grasping wildly at your skirt, wrenching it and your slip up to toss the flowy fabric against the small of your back before grabbing a fistful of your cotton panties. “Didn’t I say that I’d be nice if you were good?” he had said that, however Dio’s definition of nice simply meant that he wouldn’t twist your arms behind your back, so tight that he might break them, until you gave in and kissed him even though you would beg and beg him not to. or, that he wouldn’t sit on your chest, pinning you to the ground with all of his weight so he could fuck his fist and cum on your face while you cried.

it wasn’t a one time thing, no matter how many times you told him you didn’t want to do this with him, Dio was much bigger, much stronger, and much more cruel than you. he’d do and say anything to keep you as his little toy, even going so far as to threaten to tell your father and brother that you were sleeping with him. on the days he blackmailed you, you were always relatively compliant. you let him use your hands like his own, or let him grope at your ass while he did it himself, and you tried not to cry too loud, lest he get annoyed and get rougher with you.

instead of jerking the lingerie off of you, his thumb presses against the fabric, prodding your netherlips to part around the pad. “What I needed was a little help from my baby sister, I was suffering. Couldn’t you tell?” Dio croons when you blindly stomp at his feet— even if you managed to clip his toes under your heels, you weren’t strong enough to do any real damage against him. “I told you what I needed, no? It wasn’t that hard, just ‘drop down on your knees, close your eyes, and open that pretty mouth of yours. I’ll do all the work.’”

bucking back against him in hopes to wriggle free, you’re reminded of just how solid he was; big and immobile. it was like slamming yourself back against a brick wall, one that pushed itself into your shove and forced you back on to the table. “But you couldn’t even take the whole head in your mouth, could you? Crying to me that it was too big and you were too nervous. You didn’t want to choke on it, did you?” you shook your head, trying to scream against his palm that you didn’t want to do this— it was wrong, but your words were so muffled and jumbled that even if he was listening, he wouldn’t be able to decipher them. “You didn’t want to get caught sucking my cock, either, right? Well, don’t worry, little sister, nobody’s going to see you suck cock.” he pulls you up by the grip on your face, until his breath is heavy against your cheek, his other hand pulling your panties halfway down your trembling thighs. “If any of the kitchen staff happen to be eavesdropping, or if your father and JoJo return home early from their trip, they’re going to see me stretching your little cunt over me instead.”

both hands immediately flee to claw at the one he has clamped over your mouth, desperate for a chance to speak, a chance to plead with him. Dio knew you were a virgin, and he liked that. a lot. deep down, maybe you always expected something like this to happen, but now you were facing it, and you were terrified. if you knew Dio as well as you did, he wasn’t going to be gentle. guiding the crown of your head back against his pectoral, your eyelashes fluttered as you realize you’re screwed into a position perfect for looking up into those devil ruby eyes of his. just like he wanted. “There, stay right here and look up at me. I wanna see those pretty eyes get big and watery when I put it in—“ you squeal in opposition, shaking your head back and forth, trying to grip the skin of his palm in your teeth.

Dio shoved his lower body against yours harder, using his hips to pin you in place against the table so you couldn’t squirm too much while his hand flees from your panties to blindly undo his trousers, scoffing when you get even louder, even more restless and dig your nails into his arm, “Don’t be such a crybaby,” he purrs, grasping his cock at the base once he’s shimmied his pants down enough, and guides himself to rub his tip against your folds. you were slick and warm, and he groans, worming the head inside against your body’s resistance, “I’ll just give you the tip, nice and easy. I promise. Now, stay still and let me stretch that cunt.”

his lips find your forehead, smirking against it as he forces your body to stretch open around the swollen head of his cock, and your eyes widen and well up with tears just like he predicted, one helpless whimper reverberating in his hand. “Ahh,” Dio moans against your temple, letting go of himself once he was inside, grasping a handful of your ass instead, “How does that feel, little sister? Doesn’t it feel good to take your first cock?”

you squint as you look up at him and whine, pressing your wet and clumped lashes together to keep your tears from escaping your eyes— it wasn’t that it was incredibly painful. Dio was sizable, but if you’d been more prepared with foreplay, this might’ve even felt good. you knew that, but you also knew that Dio didn’t care. he never cared if you liked it, only that he did.

but his eyes are fixed on yours, reading all the hate and fear in them, and it only turned him on more. it only made him want to hurt you more. his grip on your ass tightened, nails digging in until you’re squirming, and he pushes his hips forward, breaking his lousy promise by shoving the remaining inches into you. you should’ve never believed that he would have so much self control, but the overload of cock has you screaming against his hand, your thighs vibrating when he bottoms out. “I’m sorry, baby sister,” he pants, dragging his open lips over your forehead, “but you’re just too tight. You look too cute trying to handle the tip, you’re making me want to fill you up and watch you break. I can’t resist,” Dio pulls back only to ram himself back into you, hilt deep, over and over again, falling into a mercilessly deep and hard rhythm that had you sobbing, knocking dishes off the table as you scramble for something to hold on to. “you’ve made me this ravenous. This rough. You’ll just have to be a good girl and take it until I cum, won’t you?”

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shini--chan · 6 months ago

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That may be a bit general question but which Hetalia duos do you think could actually share a darling?

In total, it is a bit of a tricky question, mainly because a handful of the Yandere Hetalia characters, at least how I portray them, would see you as a possession that they would want to have all to themselves. Others would want to bask in your attention and be the sole focus of it, while others would be inclined to see a good portion of their peers as threats to you. This is excluding that they don’t want to spend more time than needed with their enemies, or involve you in the tangle of geopolitics. That being said, there are a few nations that are close enough to each other, or are so uninvolved with one another on country matters that sharing could work.

Russia & Belarus is one such pairing that could work. There isn’t really any bad blood between the two of them, or hefty emotional baggage that they would have to sift through in order to work together. Both of them trust one another, know the others blindspots and strengths and likes. As such, they could compliment each other well, easing shared suspicions and talking about how to handle you. Due to having a partner that could cover for them while they are out and about, both of them would become less erratic. On the flip side, you would be used as a buffer between the two of them, so that they can shield themselves a bit more from the other’s … negative tendencies and proclivities.

Another that could work, although it would be very tricky, would be China & Rome. Two empires on opposite sides of the world, and thus with no inclination to wage war against each other. But exactly that distance would also make matters difficult, since neither would tolerate being separated from you all that well. However, a comprime could be reached and both would feel more at ease knowing you would be in the good hands of one of them while the other is off on a military campaign or something of the sort. That being said, differences in morals and the desire to micromanage the other when it comes to you could make things go sour.

Surprising as it is, Finland & Hungary would make for a good duo. They are related, in a way, and share many of the same problems. Even though they have differing histories, and at times wildly differing personalities, they would manage to form their co-operation on the basis of being outsiders in Europe, based on language, customs and the such not really belonging to the European family. They can trust one another, and compensate for the other's failings. With their differing personalities, they can provide variety for you. With their shared traits, they can find common ground.

Another surprising combo would be Switzerland & Japan and here the distance would be one of those things that could make matters tricky. Most of the time, it would feel like you're being passed around by a couple in the middle of a divorce. Neither of them would really like the arrangement, but it would be the most convenient and the other can always be trusted to be honest and forthright. Also, no fights or shows of affection would occur in front of "the child", i.e you, so that you don't have anything to use against them.

Of course there are more duos that could work, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

#yandere hetalia #yandere switzerland #yandere japan #yandere china #yandere rom #yandere russia #yandere belarus #yandere finland #yandere hungary #x reader

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heyitschartic · 1 year ago

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What's the step-by-step guide for writing a wildly popular wormfic!!!!!!

Okay so this is easy.

1. Pick an anime. The more popular it is the better. Bonus points for flavor of the month.

2. Pick a main character. Obviously Taylor is a good choice, but you could always go for Greg, or pick a guy from the anime even! In case of the third option look for the biggest sexual predator, every part of the Worm fandom seems to love that. If it's Taylor or Greg just give them the best power from the show.

3. Don't write a plot. This might seem counter productive, but a plot will get in the way. Write your character just doing things, it doesn't really have to make sense how it all ties together. Make sure they are super strong too. Go on the vs wiki to find every tortuous reason this random character could beat scion.

4. Always! Be! Updating! You know what people hate? Waiting. Update your story once a week, at LEAST. Once a day is better. This is also why you don't want a plot, it will bog you down.

5. Add in fan favorites. Make sure to include fan favorite characters like Leet, Greg, a laundry list of nazis, and Amy. Also include in characters fans hate like Cauldron or the Protectorate so they can be humiliated.

6. Romance. Add in some romance, but make sure it's romance with a girl. None of your readers wanna read about any gay shit like kissing guys. If your MC is a girl write a wuvvy dovey les-bean character dating one of the fan favorites you introduced. If it's a guy, be sure to make it a harem so you don't miss out on any titillating action for your readers

7. Quit. This is the most important step; quit before finishing it. If you keep posting forever eventually everyone is gonna get bored and stop reading. Get your story partway through and just stop updating. Find a new flavor of the month show then rinse and repeat.

If you follow these steps, congratulations! You're now a famous worm fanfic writer. Be sure to create a patreon for a tidy 200 a month and clout with a bunch of guys for whom Methods of Rationality was an important part of their lives.

#asks #worm fanfiction

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i-smoke-chapstick · 6 months ago

Text

'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART ELEVEN]

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Reader deals with the consequences of her actions, and tries something new.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) TBH this chapter is mostly fluff as apology for my absence. Jervis and reader getting that dance. The slow burn is slow burning. She fell first, he fell harder. (Guys, he's falling harder!!!) Soft Jervis. Jim and Barbara are tweaking out. RIP selina's faith in reader. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Reader struggling with revenge and feelings. Reader and Jervis are still in their friends to lovers era. I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.

⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx @all-things-fandomstuck @killingboredom @sweetlimeharvest @frenchfryqueen69

⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR, - 'PART FIVE, - 'PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN' - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, - 'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN, - 'PART FOURTEEN,

♫ “As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine / When we dance in my living room.” Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

"Mr. Tetch, this is awful." You pick and prod at your clothes, face buried in your hands, referencing the dead man in front of you.

Jervis had hypnotized a man for you to practice on. It was simple; in his own words, perfect practice makes perfect, dear. He wanted it to be an all immersive experience. Besides, the two of you weren't even sure he could be hypnotized.

As soon as Mr. Tetch had released the man from his spell, the man had begun to kick and scream like a child, banging wildly on the doors. You watched Jervis purse his lips in annoyance before urging you to do something. It was like a mother bird teaching a baby bird how to fly. Just one little push.

Yeah, that didn't work. It was like screaming over a fire alarm. The mans cries were blaring. You felt embarrassed and frustrated, and Jervis looked the ladder as well. He took a handgun on the table and shot the man in the head in seconds flat. The cries abruptly stopped.

It didn't bother you. You'd seen your father and mother shoot many a men before.

Jervis clicks his tongue, and shakes his head almost theatrically in response to your previous words.

"Terrible business." He sighs with faux-sympathy, a grim look on his face. You watch him kneel over the dead man and feel his cold neck with the back of his palm.

"What are we going to do now?" You stare at the man and his now dead eyes. Jervis stands up in a swift movement, kicking the body with little regard. He scans over your stressed expression.

"A simple enough issue to resolve. It would do you good to calm down." His voice is soft-spoken, and his eyes never stray from the way your hands fidget.

You huff, but you nod. "So, are we just gonna throw him out the window?"

"Indeed." Mr. Tetch looks as though gears are turning in his head.

He grabs the corpse by the arms. "Help me carry him, won't you? He's quite heavy."

You roll your eyes and get to work.

"I guess I'll need to find someone else to practice on. Any ideas?" You ask, still focused on the issue at hand. This has to work.

"Patience, dear." He tuts, lifting the body out the window. Both of you look down into the streets below. He smirks a bit as he turns to face you. "Perhaps we could find a certain policeman to practice on."

You groan. "Not my dad. Not yet, at least. Remember? We have a plan. Out of the two of us, you're the impatient one, Mr. Tetch."

"Of course, of course." He muses. He was expecting your defiance.

You two toss the body out the window, and a loud thud resounds in the distance.

He stands by the open window, watching the body crash into the ground.

After a moment of silence, Jervis tilts his head towards you with a quizzical look.

"Might I request something of you?" He speaks, careful.

"Yeah, what is it?" It takes you by surprise how willing you respond to him and his questions. It should feel wrong, but it just feels casual.

"Might you ever consider referring to me as anything other than 'Mr. Tetch'?"

His eyes sparkle with curiosity as he tilts his head expectantly. He looks at you intently, watching closely for your reaction.

You blink at him. You hadn't noticed.

"...Like what?"

"My first name, perhaps?" He places his hand over his heart and gives an exaggerated bow, like some character from an old play. It involuntarily makes you smile. "Jervis, at you're service. 'Mr. Tetch' is what one calls their teacher. Wouldn't you prefer...to be my friend?"

"You are my teacher, though." You counter, still amused. "You're teaching me hypnotism."

He eyes you with a look of exasperation and mild fluster.

"We are both outlaws, aren't we? Not students and teachers. If I am to call you Y/N, I would ask you refer to me as simply Jervis." Something twists in your stomach as being referred to as an outlaw. Maybe you're more like your mother than you thought.

"Fine. No promises that it sticks, though. I kind of like it."

"No promises needed."

He nods with a slight shrug. You glance out at the city streets of Gotham, taking a moment to think. You two can hear the distant sounds of cars and pedestrians echoing through the city. You perk up your ears, hearing the sound of music in the distance. It's an older love song, and sounds like it could be from the early sixties. How Gotham. You listen to the singers voice croon.

Jervis's eyes dart in the direction of the music, and he seems to recognize the song.

You watch his lips quirk up into a smile, reminiscing about old times. But he quickly shakes his head, seemingly pushing the thoughts aside. He approaches the window curiously, intrigued by the sound of the music.

"I don't believe I've heard that song in a decade. How nostalgic."

In between the fear of turning into your mother, and the anxiety of harboring with a fugitive, you aren't quite sure why the words fall out of your mouth.

"Y'know, some time ago, you promised me a dance." You whisper, looking up at him, hopeful.

At your words, his eyes slightly widen. He glances over at you and raises an eyebrow, a flicker of something akin to hope in his eyes.

"Ah, I remember. Well, you've certainly earned it, my dear," He says with a smile, offering you one hand. "A dance then, if you would permit me the honor. A bit of distraction would do us good."

Your fingers intertwine, and he gives your hand a soft and gentle squeeze. Despite the chaos of the night, this moment feels almost... peaceful.

Jervis holds your hand up to his, and places his other on your waist, gently pulling you closer. The music continues faintly in the distance, setting the mood of the moment.

"Follow my lead," He murmurs softly. You feel your cheeks burn at the close proximity. Why is it that every time you touch him, it feels like electric shocks going through your body?

At his words, you do as he says. You step in sync with him, and there's something comfortable about the way he holds you. "Where did you learn to do this?"

He leads you slowly around the room in a pleasant dance, each step in time with the rhythm of the distant music.

He smiles gently and chuckles, a soft warmth in his expression. It feels strange to see him look so carefree. He glances down at you, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his.

"I learned the basic steps years ago, as a small child," Jervis explains. "And over time, I've picked up the rest. It's quite simple when you've had as much time as I have," He adds with a playful grin.

You snort. "Yeah yeah, geezer." You stick your tongue out a bit at him, happily accepting the strange calm of the night. The words do make you wonder, though. Is he truly comfortable with...this? Staying with a girl half his age? You briefly wonder if he thinks of you of more as a daughter, or a young pupil, and the thought somehow elicits a pang of hurt in your chest.

His light laugh makes all your thoughts disappear. As you spin back to him, he pulls you a little closer, your body gently bumping against his. The feeling is far from unpleasant.

"I'm not that old," He replies with a grin, "Watch your tongue, dear Y/N."

Your smile deepens, and his eyes slightly sparkle as he looks down at you. There's a moment of quiet before he asks you a final question.

"Did I ever tell you how lovely you look in that dress?"

"I seem to recall you telling me I looked magnificent." You remind him, feeling tingly from his every touch. You can feel the goosebumps on your arms, and blame it on the breeze from the window.

"That is correct," He replies, his tone sincere. "I meant it, you know. You are magnificent. More so than any person, creature, or thing I've ever seen."

There's a subtle look of admiration in my eyes as he continues leading the dance, though the two of you have significantly slowed down.

"Where is this coming from, Jervis?" You ask, but you know. From the first time you'd met him in the club. There's a pull to him, something inexplicable. Not to mention the night outside, the city lights...the music. It's the way his first name slips out of your mouth for the first time in forever.

Jervis looks down at you with a slightly puzzled expression, a warmth in his eyes. He pauses dancing and pulls you closer, both his arms wrapping gently around your waist. You two have fully stopped. He looks deeply into your eyes, voice soft and earnest.

"I admire you," He mutters quietly, my fingers softly tracing your back. "It is hard for one to not feel romantic when the city is in such a state, and in particular when they dance with someone quite so lovely."

Romantic. There it is. You swallow the lump in your throat, and curse yourself for feeling it too. For feeling that pull to him, the man who tried to kill your father, the man who shot you. What could he possibly admire about you?

You pause, and lightly push him away. You fight the urge to sigh. "It's getting late," You whisper. "We'll try again in the morning. Find someone else to experiment on, yeah?"

His brows furrow, but he nods in understanding, a bit of disappointment in his expression. Yet, he still takes your hand and raises it to his lips, placing a chaste kiss to it.

"Very well, my dear. We'll start afresh in the morning."

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and lets go. His eyes linger on you for a moment, a thoughtful and melancholic expression on his face.

You make your way to your room quickly, grabbing your phone off the dresser. You rub your temples and read the notifications. It stings, seeing the red icons pop-up one after another.

Twenty-two missed calls. You cringe, swiping up.

Ten are from your father. Five are from your mother. Four from Tabitha. Three from Butch.

You don't look at the text messages, knowing you'll simply receive a string of "Where are you?!?" and "Please let me know you're safe."

Everything seems to irk you. You're safe. Mr. Tetch wouldn't hurt you.

He did shoot you, that voice tempts you again. But it seems easier to push out this time. He did shoot you. But haven't Tabitha and Barbara shot at each other? Your own father and mother? Love, if you can call it that, has always been fucked in Gotham.

Pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you hear your window hatch click. You look up, but don't turn around. You already know who it is.

"Y/N?" Selina calls, "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You attempt to compose yourself. You miss dancing with Jervis right about now.

"He hasn't tried anything, has he?"

"No. Its fine." You finally turn to see her, and you squint at her. An idea pops into your head, and you find yourself stepping close to her. A part of you hopes this isn't terribly unethical. "Hey, Selina..."

She looks at you, and you nod to the lift cord on the blinds. It clacks against the wall consistently with the breeze.

"Do you hear that clicking?" You ask, crossing your fingers. She seems to zone out, offering you a side-eye, before focusing on the noise. Her expression becomes deadly neutral.

This is the farthest you've gotten. You fight the urge to high-five yourself.

"Take off your goggles. No questions." You say, soft. You'd never make her do anything she wouldn't do normally. She's not an enemy. She's not Jim Gordon. She's your friend. This is just a test.

She goes to do so, arm lifting...before stopping herself.

Fuck. Ah well, you tried.

"Why?" The life returns to her face, as well does the judgey expression. You quickly offer a laugh. This is still amazing. It's proof. It can be taught! And you can learn! You almost want to squeal.

"I don't know. I want to wear them." You come up with the lie on the spot, adrenaline filling you. You watch Selina roll her eyes. She believes you.

She playfully throw the goggles to you. You put them on with a chuckle. Everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to go to plan. Everything is going to work out.

Hopefully.

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